Cinnamon and Scotch
by la valse des monstres
Summary: Nathaniel Archibald has felt very strongly for one, Chuck Bass, for a very long time. Now, he has decided to make his feelings known. CHUCK/NATE with some complications along the way. I DO NOT OWN GOSSIP GIRL.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This was my first foray into the world of fan fiction, so I hope you guys respond well to it. I'm obsessed with Gossip Girl and this story just kinda came out of me one night. I wrote for like 4 hours, and then edited and edited for about two months. Please give me feed back, the more honest that better._

**Chapter 1**

Nate had always wondered if Chuck knew. If Chuck knew of the way Nate looked at him, longed for him. If he knew that everything Nate did was for his approval. If Chuck knew that Nate had loved him for their entire lives. But Nate was always too afraid to press the boundaries of their friendship. He couldn't lose Chuck. He could handle losing Blair and Serena, and his brief tryst with Jenny wasn't even important, but he just couldn't lose Chuck.

Chuck was his everything.

And surely, Chuck had to have some sort of clue. Chuck had to know that they were something more than friends; more than brothers even. Chuck had to know how desperately Nate loved him. Nathaniel Archibald was in love with Chuck Bass. And Nathaniel Archibald had no way to communicate this desire. All he knew was the burning in his chest every time he saw Chuck. He could feel his skin shiver every time Chuck said his name. Nate shuddered to think that in a few short months, he was leaving. He knew he had to do something, just so he could have some piece of mind.

Nate made the all too familiar walk towards Chuck's penthouse; he had walked thousands of times. The walls soaked with memories of drunken stumblings after a long nights of partying, memories of laughing and joking after school, the memories of late night talks, and the countless joints passed between the two in the hallway. _God_, he thought, _I'm gonna miss this._ As he pulled the key from his pocket, he noticed that he was shaking. _Why am I so nervous_, he thought. He had done this a million times. Why was tonight different?

He opened the door to find Chuck lounging on a sofa, smoking a cigarette in complete darkness. Even through the dim apartment, Nate could see Chuck's silky, white skin. He was shirtless, except for his token silk scarf, and was still wearing his uniform pants. Nate immediately wanted to pounce on him and kiss every inch of his chest, but somehow resisted. Nate had always envied Chuck's body. While Nate knew he looked good, how his tan skin stretched across ripped muscle and perfect abs, Chuck was smooth and pale; yet Nate could sense sinewy strength hidden beneath the slender frame of Chuck's body.

"You're looking a little bit worse for wear, Nathaniel."

"I'm just tired is all."

"Oh, poor baby. I bet it's nothing a little scotch can't fix."

Nate had never liked the taste of scotch, but Chuck loved it, so he agreed to have a drink. Nate sat on the sofa and grabbed the carton of cigarettes Chuck had left on the sofa. They were some exotic, clove blend that smelled and tasted of cinnamon. He took one out and lit it with the lighter on the glass coffee table. He let the warm smoke fill his lungs as he took a long drag. The cinnamon smoke rose up in delicate plumes as he exhaled in the direction of Chuck. Whenever Chuck was around, Nate just couldn't help but stare. He stared at the smooth, ivory skin stretched tightly across Chuck's strong frame, how his broad shoulders tapered into a perfect waste, and the heavenly ass that rested right below it. He also loved the dark locks of hair that sat messily on Chuck's head.

"Nathaniel, you're silence is bothering me. Either say something or I'm going to have to find someone else to amuse myself with."

"Fuck you. You know nobody would deal with your bullshit, but me."

"My, aren't we a little passive-aggressive today? Did we not have our daily toke?"

"I- I'm just a little on edge." He paused, taking another long drag from the cigarette. "You know, school's almost over and I leave in just a couple months, and I just-"

"What?"

"I just have a lot of things flying around in my head."

Chuck handed the glass to Nate as he took a long sip. He grabbed the cigarette from Nate and took a drag before flicking the ash.

"You know you can tell me anything, Nathaniel. You're the only one I allow this with."

"Why?"  

"Why what?

"Why are you this way with me, Chuck. I mean, nobody sees you like I do. Blair hasn't even seen you completely--"

"Vulnerable."  

"I don't even think that word belongs in the Bass dictionary. So why me? I know we've known each other our whole lives, but why haven't you grown tired of me like everything else in your life?"

"Because..."

"Because what, Chuck?"

Chuck's face grew still. Even in the darkness, Nate knew he wasn't looking at him. He always felt lost with Chuck. Like no matter what they had just talked about, Chuck was always somewhere else. Nate couldn't handle it anymore. He got up to leave. Then he felt a hand on his wrist.

"Because I..... Because I love you, Nate. More than I have loved anyone."

Nate was in complete shock. _Did I just hear Chuck say that? Did Chuck Bass truly admit to having feelings for me._

"Did you hear me, Nate? I said I love you."  

What happened next happened so quickly. Nate whipped around and grabbed Chuck's face in his hands. He could feel some wetness beneath his fingertips. He then laid a soft kiss on Chuck's lips.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to hear you say that."

Nate kissed Chuck again, this time slower, more passionate. He let Chuck's tongue slide into his mouth, the taste of scotch mingled with cinnamon. Nate pulled away just long enough to say:

"I love you."

This time Chuck initiated the kiss. This kiss was different from the first two. This kiss was hungry. Nate submitted to the kiss. Their tongues clashed as each tried to taste the other more. Nate wasn't sure how it happened, but somehow they ended up on the floor, Chuck straddling Nate.

They began to kiss even harder. They couldn't get enough. Nate could feel himself getting harder by the second, and could feel that Chuck was reacting the same. Nate sat up with Chuck still on top of him, as he fumbled with getting his tie off. Chuck's hands darted to the buttons on Nate's shirt. As Chuck pushed the wrinkled fabric off of Nate's shoulders, Nate pushed Chuck onto his back. This all happened without parting from the kiss.

Nate began grinding his manhood in between Chuck's hips, and he could hear Chuck moan softly. Nate's mind raced, and all he could do was slowly move his kisses down Chuck's neck and shoulder blade. Chuck grasped Nate's hair tightly, while his other hand scratched across Nate's bronze back. Nate reached down to their twin erections, releasing Chuck's from his pants. Chuck took this cue, and did the same for Nate.

"I love you," Nate said.

"Please say it again. I need to feel something, anything."

Nate pulled up and looked dead into Chuck's eyes. He got lost in the dark pools of sadness that had always looked so mischievous. He wanted to take all of Chuck's pain away, and to replace it with love. His love.

"I love you."

Nate resumed kissing Chuck, his lips moving down his chest, to the flat tender nipples. Nate couldn't believe how delicious Chuck was. How his skin was sweeter than anything he's ever tasted, yet reveled in the must that only a man can make.

Chuck pulled Nate's lips to his own, as he wrapped his fist around Nate's already leaking cock. He jacked it slowly, teasing Nate. Nate's body shuddered with every thrust, but he refused to let go of the kiss. He moaned into Chuck's mouth, their spit mixing with the beads of sweat forming on Nate's forehead.

"I'm gonna--" he gasped.

"It's okay. I want you to."

Nate's entire body shivered as the strongest orgasm he'd ever had rattled his entire body. Stream after stream covered Chuck's flat stomach, the milky cream blending into Chuck's marble abs. Nate kissed Chuck hard, biting down on his lower lip. He grabbed Chuck's cock and began jacking it furiously. He wanted to give Chuck an orgasm he'd never forget. Chuck's hip began bucking into Nate's fist, as their speed increased. The frantic pace they built up finally ended when he shot his load all over the two of them.

Nate rolled onto his back, next to Chuck's still body. Chuck felt so incredibly warm, Nate could not resist rubbing his arm over Chuck's chest. Chuck rolled onto his side to face Nate, and traced little circles around Nate's navel. Chuck kissed Nate's neck, as he moved in closer. Nate was in heaven.

"I hope you know that I was sincere, Nate. I wasn't lying. I really do-"

His sentence was interrupted with a kiss from Nate.

"I know. And you'll never know how much I've felt the same for you. How much I still do. I love you Chuck Bass. And I will always love you."

They shared a tender kiss, before falling asleep. The last thing Nate thought was how beautiful this was, and how beautiful their future was going to be. He drifted to sleep, still entangled with Chuck's limbs, the taste of cinnamon and scotch still in his mouth.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but I think it's important for the pacing. Whatevs, please review._

Chapter 2

Nate slowly woke up in the middle of the night to find himself in a dark apartment that was not his home. For a brief second he had forgotten where he was. It wasn't until he noticed the mess of dark hair leading into pale skin lying next to him, did he realize where he was.

_So I wasn't dreaming_, thought Nate. He had spent the night with Chuck. And he had told Chuck what he had wanted to say for so long. Nate noticed goosebumps rising on Chuck's back, and felt the coolness that seemed to emanate off every surface in the room. It was all stainless steel and sleek glass. Nate felt a sigh of sadness escape his mouth. Chuck's sadness, the sadness in his eyes was everywhere in the room. It was so cold, the way Chuck was to everyone in his life. Nate was going to change this.

As Chuck breathed silently, Nate slowly moved closer to him. He wrapped his strong arms around Chuck's lean frame, feeling the coolness of what was once burning skin. Chuck shifted, overwhelmed by the intense body heat Nate always seemed to have. As he started to wake up, Nate kissed the nape of Chuck's neck.

"Do you even know what time it is." Chuck's silken voice asked half asleep.

"Does it even matter?"

"I suppose not Nathaniel, but what would the Captain say if they knew what how late you were up? On a school night, at that."

"Shut up."

Nate flipped Chuck over, never leaving the embrace. They gazed into one another's eyes, for awhile. Nate could feel himself getting lost in them again, but he noticed a change. There was still some sadness, but there was something else too. A glint of hope perhaps. He kissed Chuck, parting Chuck's lips with his tongue. Chuck pushed back with his tongue, slowly becoming the more dominant kisser. Nate still couldn't believe how good he tasted. There was still a faint taste of scotch and cinnamon, but he tasted sweeter somehow.

Chuck stood up suddenly, breaking away from the kiss.

"Where do you thing you're going?"

Nate sat up and watched Chuck disappear behind a corner. He grabbed one of the cigarettes forgotten on the sofa, and lit it. He took a long drag from it, and sat for awhile, trying to figure out why Chuck left so abruptly. He then heard a sliding door open and shut.

"Chuck."

No answer.

"Chuck!"

Nate walked into the bedroom of his friend, and saw a breeze push the curtains into the room. Nate felt a shiver race down his spine, as the night air enveloped him. Stepping through that doors to the balcony, Nate realized why he was still cold. He had neglected to dress. His nude body seemed darker in the night, but he noticed Chuck's seemed to glitter. The alabaster skin of one Chuck Bass glittered like a diamond. Nate released a sigh that he could not contain. Chuck was startled; he hadn't heard the other boy coming.

"You... You need to go."

"But, Chuck-" 

"Please. I need you to leave me Archibald."

Nate hated when Chuck called him 'Archibald'. It made him feel like a stranger. Like somebody unimportant.

"No."

"What?"

"I'm not leaving. Not now. You can't push me away, Chuck. I'm not like those girls you bring up here. I am _not_ leaving."

"I... I can't do this."

"Do what, Chuck? Love me? Love anyone?"

"I can't be weak."

"Being in love in not being weak. I love you and I refuse to believe that you feel any different than the way I feel right now. You're not getting away from me."

Nate felt hot tears stream down his cheeks. He was not going to give up. He grabbed the smaller boy and pulled him into a kiss. At first, Chuck didn't respond; he just stood there. Nate persisted, pulling Chuck closer to him, wrapping his bronze arms around the pale waist. Finally, Chuck surrendered. He felt Nate's heat wrap around him, and just gave in.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The days, weeks, and soon months passed, and Nate was still in love with the one and only Chuck Bass. Their relationship, they thought, was hidden from everyone, even the infamous Gossip Girl. But some noticed that in public they were always too close to each other. Some noticed the brush of hands and the wanting glances the two boys shared with each other. But nobody said anything. No one wanted to believe that these two boys might share something that could even be construed as love. They are just good friends, they thought, like brothers. They are nothing more than that. They just couldn't believe that the infamous Nathaniel Archibald could even be in a relationship with the even more infamous Chuck Bass.

But they were wrong.

Nate would always try to corner Chuck, to kiss the pale boy, to be with him. Nate craved Chuck. Whenever they were behind closed doors, Chuck was held tightly to the tanned boy. He loved Chuck and Chuck loved him. He wanted Chuck and only Chuck.

But Chuck was too enraptured with the persona he had created. He still picked up girls. He still brought them to his suite. He still had sex with them. And Nate was not happy with this, but he never said a thing. He didn't want to lose Chuck, so he willingly let these trysts continue. It was killing Nate.

One night, Nate had enough. While Chuck was sharing drinks with some nameless blonde, Nate sat stirring in his anger and jealousy. _He belongs to me_, Nate thought. _He loves me. _So he decided to do something about it. He made his way to Chuck, and deliberately grabbed his lover.

"We have to go."

"But Nathaniel, can't you seem I'm busy,"Chuck drawled in his silky voice.

The blonde just giggled.

"I can see that, but we have something more important to do right now."

Nate softly laid his hand on Chuck's, urging with his eyes that they needed to go right now. _I need you_, his eyes said. Chuck's eyes changed ever so slightly, as if he understood what Nate needed. His eyes returned the longing.

"I have to go."

With that, the blonde frowned, but immediately set her eyes on some other rich, Upper East Side elitist, and fluttered away, not the least bit deterred that her plans were foiled.

The two boys quickly left the club, and jumped into Chuck's limo. As soon as the car moved, Nate grasped his lover's face and began to kiss him. He kissed him angrily, but full of want. This kiss was needy. Nate needed Chuck to reaffirm their love for each other. Chuck gently pushed him away, his eyes betraying his actions.

"What was that for?" Nate didn't understand the abrupt end to his ministrations.

"I can't do this."

"What? You can't do this? You can't be with me and only me?" Nate could feel anger rising up his spine.

"I can't be with you the way you want me to. I know why you pulled me away from that girl. You're jealous. And I can't bare to make you feel that way."

"Then change."

"I... I don't know if I can."

"Try, Chuck. I need you to try. I can't just stop loving you Chuck. I can't just turn off my feelings for you. Like I've said, hundreds of times, I love you Chuck Bass. And nothing can get in the way of that."

"I knew you wouldn't understand..."

"Understand what, Chuck? That you have a reputation to uphold. That the great Chuck Bass has to fuck anything that moves because he's The Chuck Bass. That's bullshit and you kno-"

"I'm broken." Chuck burst with a sadness that Nate had never seen before.

"What do you-"

"I can't do this. I don't fall in love, Nathaniel. I don't love. And I can't be what you want me to be. What you think I am."

"Don't do this Chuck. Doesn't any of the time we've spent with one another mean anything. I know it does. Don't pull away from me Chuck."

"I have to Nate. I just can't be with you. I don't think I can be with anyone."

"Then what do you think we've been doing with each other? We've been together. You've been with me. You may be broken, but I'm broken with you. Our pieces have intermingled and you can never, ever get rid of me."

"You're making this harder than it needs to be."

Nate could not believe this was happening. The one thing that Nate felt he had control of, was slipping through his fingers. The one thing that he chose to do himself, to pursue his love, was being taken away from him. All his life, decisions were always made for Nate; he never had a say in anything. And the one time he felt he did have a say, was quickly being crushed.

"Chuck, tell me you love me. Tell me. I know you can. Just please say it."

"I can't. Not anymore."

"Please, I need you to say it."

Tears began to fall from Nate's blue eyes. The car rolled up to Chuck's building. He moved to get out of the limo, when Nate reached up.

"Don't go. If you leave now, I will never be happy again. Please just stay."

"You know I can't do that Nathaniel." And with that, Chuck pulled his arm away from Nate, and disappeared into the building, leaving Nate utterly and entirely crushed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Not more than a minute passed before he knew that what Chuck had said wasn't really him. It couldn't be. He just knew there was something wrong. That wasn't right. It just wasn't. Nate couldn't put his finger on it, but something had gone horribly, _horribly_ wrong.

"What the fuck?"

He stopped the driver and got out of the car. He began walking, nowhere in particular, he just had to move. His brisk walk soon turned into a run, as the noisy New York streets clamored around him.

So many things were swirling through his head, mainly of the brunet who had just abandoned him. His phone began ringing.

"What do you want?" He answered coarsely.

"Oh Nate, is this a bad time?"

"No, I'm sorry Serena, I just kinda had something happen."

"Well, what is it? Do you feel like talking?"

"That isn't a bad idea, but can I see you in person. I don't want to talk about this over the phone."

"Okay, uh well where are you?"

"On 5th. You?"

"Oh my god, me too. I think I see you." 

Nate looked up and saw the leggy blonde staring at him across the street. She pointed to the little coffee shop she was standing in front of.

"I'll be right there. Get a table somewhere private."

"Okay, Nate, Hurry up will you, you don't sound too great."

"I'm not Serena. I'm really not alright."

He hung up, as she disappeared into the cafe. He crossed the street while trying to figure out what exactly he was going to tell her and how best to say it without her freaking out. He walked in and saw her in a booth at the very far end of the cafe.

"Do you want anything?"

"Nate, I already got you a latte. Cinnamon is still your favorite right?"

Nate froze, immediately recalling his first night with Chuck. The first time they were ever really together.

"Oh honey, what's wrong?" 

"It has to do with what I need to talk to you about."

"Oh, girl trouble I see. Something wrong with Vanessa? I knew you guys were too good to be true." She tried sounding as light as possible, but knew that something was wrong. She could see it in his cobalt eyes.

"Not exactly. I... It's about... God this is hard. I tried thinking of the best way to tell you..."

"Nate, what is it?"

"It's about..."

"What? Who? Come on Nate, you can tell me."

"Serena, I kinda made up this speech to tell you what's going on with me, and if you interrupt me, I'm afraid I won't be able to spit it out. Okay?"

"I'm all ears. Just take your time."

"So, you know I haven't been really seeing anyone right? Well that's not entirely true. I've been in, am still in love, with somebody?" 

"Nate, who?"

"Serena, please-"

"Sorry. Shutting up now."

"I'm in love with... I... I love Chuck."

Silence.

"We've been together for a couple of months now, and like an hour ago, he... He ended it. He said he couldn't be with me because of who he is and I know that what he was saying wasn't him and we've been so happy together and I know he still has feelings for me, but something is wrong. He said he was broken and that I couldn't fix him and I don't want to fix him. I want him the way he is. Because if he's fixed he won't be the Chuck I fell in love with. It's just all fucked up and I don't know if I can live without him."

More silence.

"Help me Serena. Help me get him back. Please."

There was a long pause between the two friends. Nate could practically hear the cogs spinning in the blonde's well kept head.

"Does he know this?"

"Of course he does. I've told him. I tell him every moment of every day."

"Well maybe that wasn't the way to go about things. Maybe you scared him because he didn't think he was worthy of your love."

"Oh my god. I... I thought that's what he wanted. He kept saying how broken he was, so I thought that he needed to hear me say that. I have to go find him."

"Wait, Nate-"

"Thanks for everything," he called out as he left the shop. He didn't quite hear the last thing Serena said. He figured it was just something encouraging. He disappeared into the morning air and headed towards Chuck's apartment.

"He's with Blair right now!"


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N So I finally got around to writing an actual sex scene. I tried to make it sexy without it being sleazy. Also it just so happens the chapter where they actually do it, is the shortest chapter. Oh well. Feedback would be nice._

Chapter Five

Nate just pretended that what he just saw was a really, _really_ bad nightmare.

He did not see his love with his ex-girlfriend.

He did not see them in various stages of undress.

He did not see the desperation in their kiss.

But most importantly, he did not see Chuck's world fall apart as the blond fled from his suite.

To say that Nate was pissed is an understatement. To say he was hurt is one too. Nate felt like the world had just been flipped over and that he was just punched in the stomach, the head, and the heart simultaneously.

_How could he do that_, he thought. _How?_

Nate couldn't get the image out of his head. It was burned there, forever engraved into his head. He had never been this hurt, this angry before. He couldn't do anything except go home and bury his head into his pillows. This, Nate realized, was a bad idea. It brought back too many memories.

He thought of the first time he and the brunet had made love. How Chuck had been so gentle, so loving as he laid Nate onto the navy blue silk sheets. How Chuck had kissed him. How Chuck's alabaster arms pinned his golden ones above his head as they ground against each other.

Nate stifled a moan as his memories continued to plague him.

He remembered how embarrassed he was when Chuck pleaded to be inside of him. He flushed as he remembered his incessant blushing as Chuck called him beautiful. He had been told he was gorgeous before, but he felt like Chuck was the only person that meant it.

_No._

Nate fought his thoughts. Chuck had hurt him. Chuck was killing him. He was not going to think of this. Nobody thought to tell his erection otherwise.

He remembered the initial pain he felt when Chuck first entered him. He remembered panting out _Chuck _and _Please, right there_.

Nate came before he could even remember the beautiful orgasm he had when Chuck hit just the right spot. How Chuck's beautiful body went rigid right before he orgasmed, screaming _Nate_ as he rode out the waves of his own pleasure.

This hurt the most, because he remembered how Chuck said _I love you_, as they drifted off into sleep ,limbs and hearts entwined.

Nate fell asleep, his heart and soul hurting because the only thing he could think about was how great they had been together and how betrayed he felt because he was falling asleep alone. He hated himself, because he lost the only thing that made him truly and completely happy.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N So this is the last chapter. It took me awhile to really tie it up the way I wanted, but I'm glad how it turned out. I plan on writing a new story but I'm not quite sure what it'll be about. I can say it will not be a continuation of this story, but I might include another Nate/Chuck romance. Thanks for sticking with it, and I hope you'll keep on following what I have to write._

Chapter Six

Nate awoke to a knock on his door. It was Sunday, so he knew it wasn't his mother; she had been attending the same Sunday Brunch for the last eleven years. It took him awhile to figure out who it was.

_Chuck._

Nate got up and opened his bedroom door.

"How the fuck did you get in here?" 

"Nathaniel, please. Restrain yourself."

"Bass, answer me. Who let you in?"

"You've forgotten already. I've had a key since we were in middle school. But that's besides the point. We need to talk."

"I don't believe you. What makes you think you can come here and act so casual about what you did to me. What you're doing to me!"

"I'm not acting casual-"

"Just listen to yourself. You've been here for over thirty seconds and you haven't even attempted an apology. Just forget it Chuck. Whatever you came here to say, I don't want to hear it. Please, leave me alone."

Nate put on the steeliest glare he could muster and slammed the door shut in Chuck's face. As soon as it was locked, he collapsed. He didn't cry or wail or thrash in grief; he just slowly fell to the floor and stared at the door. He heard Chuck call his name for several minutes and then heard muffled footsteps walk away and a door closing.

He could not move. He was just stuck. He didn't want to do anything. He felt empty.

_Why does this have to be so hard._

Nate just wanted everything to go back to how it was; how easy it had been before his whole deal with Chuck.

Before Chuck, life was easy. All his choices had been made for him. All he had to do was just show up when he was needed, smile, and then bid adieu. But now, he was so unsure of everything.

He loved Chuck. He truly did, but whenever Chuck was around he doubted himself. He hated feeling this confused. He wanted to hate Chuck, but he just couldn't, no matter how hard he tried. Chuck Bass had poisoned him, and Nate had a feeling that it would never go away.

Days passed, and Nate had tried his hardest to just push these feelings aside. He avoided Chuck, as well as everybody else. Serena had tried talking to him, but whenever she approached him, he just dismissed her. He hadn't talked o anyone for almost a week.

That is until Chuck cornered him.

"Nate, please, just let me explain myself."

"You know I don't want to talk to you so please just leave me alone."

"That's not going to work Nate. Just let me apologize."

"No. I don't want to hear your excuses. You hurt me and I can't forgive you. I just can't."

"Shut up Nate! Stop running away and face your problems. Let me back in."

Nate tried to walk away, but Chuck grabbed his arm, much like Nate had done that night that seemed so long ago.

"Let me go, Chu-"

Chuck pushed Nate against the wall of St. Jude's and pressed a searing kiss to Nate's lips. Nate resisted, and didn't kiss back. He felt the sting of tears in his eyes, but he refused to let Chuck win.

"Stop. Please, just stop. I don't want to play any of your sick games."

Chuck's eyes, full of hurt and sadness locked onto Nate's.

"I'm not playing any games. I never was."

"Then what are you doing? You've won. I'm broken. You took my heart and now I have nothing. When will you be happy?"

"When you love me again."

"Don't you get it? I never stopped. You did. You stopped loving me when you left me in that fucking limo and fucked Blair."

"I'm sorry Nate. How many times do I have to tell you. What I did with Blair wasn't me."

"Then who was it?" Nate's voice dripped with venom. He was not letting Chuck off hat easily."

"I did it to try and remind myself of who I am. Who I was."

"Then who are you, Chuck?"

"I don't know anymore. Before you, I knew who I was. I was cold and heartless. And alone. Unhappy with who I had become. But when I'm with you, I can see myself as being happy."

"You hurt me Chuck. More than anyone ever has. More than Blair. More than even my own father. I can't just forget what you did."

"I'm not asking for that. I'm just asking you to..."

"To what Chuck? Answer me. To take you back. I don't know if I have the strength to."

"Nate please. I love you."

"I know Chuck. And I love you, but I can't be with you."

Nate placed a soft kiss on Chuck's lips. He could taste the salty tears falling from the brunet's eyes.

"I'll never stop loving you Chuck."

With that, Nate walked away. He left Chuck alone, and didn't look back.


End file.
